, I meant exactly that. Just because of self-help and seduction industries. Or at least, 90% of their contents.

There are a whole bunch of things that deserve our attention and efforts, rather than that.

Maybe you’ll notice soon -if you haven’t yet- a tiny little fact: people will detach on their own from both industries. Why?

Because it’s simply an empty concept – rarely do they get to know what happens with somebody, yet they apply general criteria/cold reading stuff so people having/thinking they have some issues come and buy books, DVD’s, workshops and lots of things they don’t need at all. I think that once people realize that the problems they have when they’re following this advice are precisely due to following that kind of advice (which many times happens to be outrageous, unnatural and sociopathic), they’ll just leave for good.

There’s no real prowess, there is no real worry for our true problems.

And the vast majority of authors only tend to offer advice on “how to look more cool/valuable/rich/good looking”.

They build an empty figure so they can teach people to underestimate themselves.

That’s what their avatars were made for.

Just to tell you and cunningly make you believe that you’re just a bull crap compared to the self-proclaimed gurus and masters of whatever shit may it be (and that you can buy a solution from them, of course).

I don’t remember how exactly did I found those topics, yet I know it has to do with raw curiosity. When I was 12 I started reading books related to self-growth and empowerment. I have always preferred those that comes from oriental philosophy, although we have good philosophers too. Along with philosophy I’ve spent so many time experiencing and reading (to get the knowledge I needed) authors on topics like psychology, social studies, education, social dynamics, leadership and teamwork, coaching…

All this reading served to nurture an amazing change on how I view the world and live my life. And that’s when I began teaching so I could better learn, too. Having to work on my ideas so I could made the message clear for others had a huge impact on my growth rate – almost all the major goals I set up back then, are achieved now.

Because of this, the most important of those things I actually know and keep applying on my own life is… That every experience we may get through can be boosted and empowered to make us really become what we wish to be. And living like that makes me feel grateful and happy. This is a truth I hold for evident:

If I can make every experience count, and worth it…
I’m setting the proper conditions in order to display my full potential.

That is the single thing -along with responsibility of one’s acts and it’s consequences- that never was taught anywhere. Yet some of us already knew about this stuff, it doesn’t matter since we never really paid attention to it.

So many people had preferred to spread a big load of crap into everyone’s mind, disguised as manliness or whatever shitty made-up name/definition.

My take on the topic with all this, is just making evident a hinted truth. This whole industry is ephemeral, as they are only faking and pretending to be the big bad wolf while they’re nothing more than sheeps.

So, why would you waste your time, money and efforts into probably the biggest mistake in anyone’s life?

You could be spending your time and effort (and save some money) on knowing yourself, getting control of your life by developing and empowering your own abilities and learning to properly use your own resources (mainly your inner resources).

And how the hell can I do that?, you ask…

Giving your attitude a little shift of paradigm, I say…

  1. If you want your life to be changed, you have to change yourself first and foremost. In order to get whatever change you want, you may first have to accept what you want to change. No one can change something while denying it. The steps are simple: find what’s happening and figure what you want to do about it. Once you’re aware of *what* you want, *how* you’re going to get it takes care of itself – this is a given.
  2. Another great thing you have to remind is to keep things simple and easy. That’s a true leader’s most remarkable fact. He who can remember this fact and become able to use it properly, will get a significant improve to his personal life. At the Ars Amorata, this is called Pause, Being Still and Delight/Dance in the Moment. These words alone explain it far better than anything, IMO.
  3. And don’t forget the self-knowledge thing… The answer to one’s problems and worries is always within us. It comes from the inside. Sometimes we just need someone to tear it apart and let it rise to the surface. But people always tend to hide his true self beyond some masks and façades… And those shiny moments of honesty fade into oblivion. That’s a disrespect to ourselves. If we aren’t ready to be honest and truthful to ourselves, to be confident and trustful to ourselves, we will never see someone doing it for us. Not for themselves though. Your façades will not hide the trash that lies beneath.

Your time is now. And your way is to LOVE YOURSELF and get to really know yourself, then the next step is to really connect with people. That means you’ll have to get implied. Share yourself with them.

And let them share themselves with you.

But from the very beginning all you need is to feel free and enjoy from the inside, vibrate and shine with every moment you live. And look for the hidden treasure that lies behind every single one of those moments. Reveal and delight in the hidden treasures inside your heart and mind. Soul and body.

I’m afraid I’ve spent too much words on explanations so I’ll stop it now. And I’ll do it by introducing myself.

My name is Sergio Melich, and I go by the pen name of Kheldar Arainai on my blog, named La Vida es Fluir. I’m 21 years old, Spanish, and a chaotic guy. Due to recent adventures, I’m also the chairman of the Spain branch of The Sexual Life — a project, a philosophy and a way of life promoted by my friend Steve Mayeda

And I’m commited to excellence in life as an Amorati, a recent member of a brotherhood of lovers, adventurers and men who celebrate life and beauty with ease and delight, which was funded along with the Ars Amorata movement by Zan Perrion and Hans Comyn, both of which turned to be the only authentic approaches to having meaningful relationships and living to the fullest that I’ve ever met — and I’m still making the most out of them. Sometimes I assist people as a mentor too. And that’s what I’m doing here today.

Writing and sharing.

If you’re thinking about meeting me, feel free to do so… I’d love you to share your thoughts with me.

Also, I’d like to know if I had any typos or grammar mistakes, as I’m not an English native speaker.
Please help me honing my language skills! 🙂

I’ll finish with a little quote: if you know how to live, you can live it all.

So… Begin to live well right now.

Best wishes,


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